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News: New board called Shoreline, which is a Chapter by Chapter discussion of Torment

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Author Topic: Writing, Stories, Poems, FanFicition, ect.  (Read 11266 times)
AngelOnEarth
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Angels don't always have wings


« on: January 29, 2011, 11:00:45 PM »

So I don't know if anyone else is a writer out there, but I sure am. I write poety, fanfictions, and also sometimes my own original short stories.

I though it would be nice to have a place to introduce work, get opinions/reveiws, and just spread a little fun.

So if you've written anything and you're up to sharing post links or [small] works here. Please dont just copy and paste a 50 page novel onto the forum. that will be so hard. to read.  :Smiley

XoXo  Fallen Angel
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AngelOnEarth
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Fallen Angel
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Angels don't always have wings


« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2011, 11:06:59 PM »

Here's some non Fallen FF's I've written:

Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5773881/1/Her_Guardian_Angel

(not my typical style, but my most loved story) Warning: For mature audiences
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5781853/1/BuhBump

Vampire Diaries by LJ Smith

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6008432/1/Break


I'm working on a Team Cam fic. (maybe one-shot or multi). I have ideas for A Team Daniel and also a Team Miles song-fic. I just have to see how it goes.
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Nichola
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Stay with me til morning, open up your wings


« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2011, 01:14:44 PM »

I have never written a FF before so any suggestions/comments are most welcome.

Luce's past lives have always been a point of interest for me so I decided to start writing short stories seen through the eyes of her family members. I don't have another website I can post this to so I tried to condense it the best I can. Let me know you think  Kiss



                                                             Ireland, 1837



“Luce you need to go home!”
This was not a place I wanted my younger sister to see. Horrible sins happened here.

“Just promise me that you will come home tonight. Daniel has been asking for you. He says he needs to talk to you.”

Daniel was the only one who knew our secret. Our mother had died and our father had been sent to a workhouse not long after. The Irish Poor Laws made the workhouse conditions slightly better but with cholera starting to take hold, they were over crowded and disease ridden. Our father was probably dead by now.  This made me head of the family and I had to provide for us.  Daniel seemed like a nice enough boy. He kept our secret and had a real soft spot for Luce.  However, his attitude towards me left a lot to be desired.  I can’t blame him really; prostitution is a horrible way to get by.

“Right ok I promise but you need to go now. And don’t get caught!” I pleaded.

Luce smiled back at me.  She had the same smile as our mother. “I never do.”

“Daniel caught you!”

“Maybe I let him” she teased as she disappeared around a corner.

Night was starting to creep in as I shut the door to tiny, backstreet shop where so many us “worked.”


                                                             **********

I didn’t know what time it was when I left, but I made a promise to Luce and I was determined to get back the abandoned stable we now called home. I found the place a few months ago after our last hide out had been discovered.  Not the warmest place to live but a damn sight better than a workhouse.

It was on the outskirts of a field, about half an hours walk from the city. The land was owned by some pretentious, fat old man and his haggard, witch of a wife who felt no shame in spitting at people like us.  They had stables closer to their grand house so no one ever bothered with ours.

I remember coming home one evening after 2 days in the city to find Luce and a boy sitting the loft. I recognized him as one of the stable boys that worked at the Grand House and I was not impressed. Pulling Luce out of the stable, I scolded her for getting caught.

“He’s not to going say anything Anna! He’s not like that!”

“Lucinda I am trying to so hard to keep us alive. You need to stop being so careless.” I was exhausted.

“He’s different. There just something about him. I don’t know what it is but he promised he wouldn’t tell anyone and I believe him!”

I was too tired to argue with her so I nodded and went back inside.  Daniel had kept his promise and I respected him for that, even if his interest in Luce made me uncomfortable.

Tucking my hair under a cap I had stolen earlier in the day, I started out on my journey home. It was a cold, windy night but at least it wasn’t raining.  The streets were disserted apart from a few local drunks but they never gave me any trouble.   
“Anna!” they all cheered as I rushed by. Yeah they were filthy and they’re teeth were rotten, but they never expected anything more than a smile and a wave. And for that, I was grateful.

Nearing the fields of grand house, I jumped over a stone wall and crept around the edges of the field.  There was a brilliant light in the distance and the sounds of people shouting.  I stared at the light for a moment, trying to figure out what it was.  When it finally hit me I was rooted to the spot.

Fire!

Our stable was burning!

The sound of the roof caving in brought me back to the here and now and I ran.

I was running through the trees as fast as I could.  The stable was few hundred yards away and I opened my mouth to scream for Luce until someone grabbed hold of me and pulled me into the hedges.  Regaining my balance and pushing my hair out of my face, I found out who my attacker was.  Daniel was kneeling in the mud beside me, silent tears rolling down his face.

“Daniel where’s Luce? Where is she?!” I tried to keep my voice low but the words came tumbling out of my mouth.

He didn’t reply. He just stared at the burning stable. The reflection of the fire dancing in his eyes.  We didn’t speak, we didn’t move, we didn’t look away. Tears ran down my face and dripped from my chin.

I was alone.
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Daniel when I first saw you I knew that you had a flame in your heart. And under our blue skies, marble movie skies. I found a home in your eyes, we'll never be apart.
AngelOnEarth
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Angels don't always have wings


« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2011, 06:17:21 PM »

that's chilling. Smiley
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Nichola
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Stay with me til morning, open up your wings


« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2011, 11:04:11 AM »

Thank you  Tongue
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Daniel when I first saw you I knew that you had a flame in your heart. And under our blue skies, marble movie skies. I found a home in your eyes, we'll never be apart.
AngelOnEarth
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Fallen Angel
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Posts: 1173


Angels don't always have wings


« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2011, 06:57:08 PM »

after i finish my 5 page research paper tomorrow i should have more time to finish my story. I dont know why (and i know this is so cliche) but i write better when the moon is out. I can't write until after sunset it seems. so as a student this cuts my writing time A LOT!
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fallenaway
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I fell for one reason. That reason is you!


« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2011, 01:58:20 AM »

I'm trying to write a novel and here is a little part from it:

The start of my novel:

The gorgeous garden stretched out as far as the eye can see. But this is no plain old garden were friendly little creatures roam freely and everything is breathing. No. This garden is a dark and an unfriendly place to be, you would be lucky if you survived this death trap. This was the last place on Earth that you would be stuck in.
I don’t know how I ended up here or where I am but all I know is that I’m not alone and I don’t feel secure.


Somewhere in my novel:

I eventually come across a bubbling brook and glance about the quiet realm.
The gentle, warm summer glow was slowly being replaced with violent, cold darkness. All the plants started becoming all mutant and the creatures were transforming into wicked, malicious beasts, turning and attacking anything nearby to them. It was quite a frighting scene to observe.
From out of nowhere, a rough but gentle voice glided into my mind.
“Don’t be alarmed. Stay calm, listen to my voice if you want to make it out unharmed.”
I stopped in my tracks, it was only a dream so I couldn’t get hurt, could I? I could end my dream by waking up before I got harmed and it will all be over.
“I need you to trust me, just because this may be your dream doesn’t mean that if you get harmed here you won’t have it when you wake up. Start walking over to the bridge on your left and don’t even think about running in the opposite direction.”



Hope you guys like it. tell me what you think please!!
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AngelOnEarth
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Fallen Angel
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Angels don't always have wings


« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2011, 06:13:10 PM »

fa: it's a good start but I my opinion needs some work. The plot seems like it will be good.
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fallenaway
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I fell for one reason. That reason is you!


« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2011, 10:45:01 PM »

Well the somewhere in the novel part is actually a dream that the chick is having.
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AngelOnEarth
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Posts: 1173


Angels don't always have wings


« Reply #9 on: February 15, 2011, 12:46:40 PM »

i realize that. mechanically it doesn't seem to fit. like its in your head as thoughts not you as the narrator to a story. It has things like this:
Quote

This garden is a dark and an unfriendly place to be, you would be lucky if you survived this death trap.


Its good but it's like you're telling someone a story on here or in person. the "you" is typically avoided now a days.CS Lewis uses it some. I would say: The garden was dark and unfriendly; luck was on the side of anyone who escaped alive.

See? same sentence just different mechanics to make is reader friendly.


Again this is opinion so write what you feel and how you feel like. This is just constructive criticism.
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fallenaway
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I fell for one reason. That reason is you!


« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2011, 01:22:37 AM »

Thanks for telling me what you thought. I really appreciated it
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AngelOnEarth
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Fallen Angel
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Posts: 1173


Angels don't always have wings


« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2011, 06:27:50 PM »

it's fine. if you've read the books with my stories, please critique them for me. My most commented and loved it Buh Bump which is wierd because i wrote it in 2 hours, and it's my personal least favorite. I don't write "rated M" stuff typically but the couple i wrote it about (and the author of the book) was dancing around this topic and i had to.  
« Last Edit: February 23, 2011, 06:41:29 PM by AngelOnEarth » Logged
fallenaway
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I fell for one reason. That reason is you!


« Reply #12 on: February 16, 2011, 10:55:07 PM »

No i have read any yet
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AngelOnEarth
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Fallen Angel
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Posts: 1173


Angels don't always have wings


« Reply #13 on: February 23, 2011, 06:49:30 PM »

So, maybe tomorrow or this weekend I wil publish my new FF, starring Cam and Luce.
It's taken way to long for my liking and I just had to whoop out the last two pages tonight, while i finally had a break from, well, life. I'll proof it tomorrow and if it needs no major revisions, I'm going to post it. Here's what I'm thinking about it's basics:

Title: Vision of the Past
Setting: Announcer, past life, post Torment, 1905ish, Hawaii
Lenght: 18 pages; 7,833 word (excluding Author's Notes)
Tag: Daniel has always been Luce's soulmate, her other half. A past life may speak differently to her though, and when Cam shows up, not to woo her or hurt her, but to be a mentor in her journey of understanding her old lives. She will never ve the same again.
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Nichola
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Posts: 108


Stay with me til morning, open up your wings


« Reply #14 on: February 24, 2011, 02:16:20 PM »

ooooooo sounds good!
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Daniel when I first saw you I knew that you had a flame in your heart. And under our blue skies, marble movie skies. I found a home in your eyes, we'll never be apart.
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